Using Systems to Streamline

A friend of mine very kindly wrote, "The thing that baffles me about you is that you do so much with and for your family, yet you never come across the least bit overwhelmed. I feel like I spend most of my days feeling that way and my life isn't nearly as full as yours with home-schooling and all the home-made food items. Maybe I just bring it on myself...would like to know though."

And here's what I wrote in response...

Please don’t think I’m doing more than anyone else. Every woman has her own set of stuff to get done, and projects that are ever-looming, and hang-ups that never get cared for, and so on and so on. To an outsider, we all show our best sides, but we all have about the same amount of difficulties and successes, I think. I also think we all wonder if we're really doing it all "right"! I well remember how it was to have 4 little ones, and no big ones yet to help a whole lot. You have a lot of WORK. We all do, but it’s a constant managing job at that phase of one’s mothering life. I think the reason I may not seem overwhelmed is that I really don’t feel overwhelmed very often. If I do, I change things. For instance, I cut back on how much school I am trying to get in, or I get more sleep (an entire subject of its own!), or I take a day off and just do more “fun stuff” with the kids. Or I quit spending so much time on the computer! We can all stress over trying to be perfect, but that’s really a waste of time and energy. Here's a major problem for me: My house will NEVER be consistently neat and orderly for any 24-hour period. I always admire those who keep their houses guest-ready, while I can never quite reach that in my own home! So, we all have individual "challenges", I assure you!

I do have to say that Johnny does a whole lot towards making everything run smoothly around here. He’s really big on systems...........which are a natural way of thinking for him, but which I personally never really think of til he reminds me. For example, he suggested I set up a list for the girls of a bedtime routine. So, many months ago I wrote out the 8-10 things they each need to get done before bed every night, and put pictures by each item (for the little ones), and then had the whole page laminated at the UPS STORE. NOW, instead of trying to be the Manager over 6 little people every night at 8pm, going through my mental list with each one, making sure each child took a bath, got on p-js, brushed her teeth, used the bathroom, got a drink, prayed, kissed/hugged me and Johnny, set a book on her pillow, put the dogs up, etc……I just say, “Go do your Evening Chores, and be done in 30 minutes…I’m setting your timer”, and they can each see the list on the wall! (Obviously I help the littlest ones.) Just that one thing removed a TON OF STRESS and MENTAL WORK on my part in the evenings! He’s the master of systems! The timers were his idea too. Each of the girls has one. I don't have to remind (nag) so much now!